Tessa here, and I’m writing this today with a tremendous sense of relief. I really feel as though a huge weight I’ve been living with for almost 55 years has been lifted from my shoulders. And I want to tell you why.
My hope is that you can spare yourself the misery I endured and overcome your procrastination before it inflicts the toll on you that it did on me. Even though I’ve come out the other side a much happier and, frankly, better person, the journey to get here was one I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
My procrastination is legendary.
So legendary, in fact, that I’ve been dubbed the “Queen of Procrastination,” and I’m known to take it to the next level. I could put off anything and everything until the last minute.
I’ve been known to put off paying bills, doctor’s appointments, even simply walking my dog around the neighborhood sometimes until the last possible minute.
But when I got married, had children of my own, and eventually became a grandmother? That procrastination started to weigh heavily on me.
And not just on me: It started to impact my family’s life in big ways.
My family understood this about me, and they usually tried to accommodate my “procrastination style.” But it’s not all fun and games when you’re waiting until the last minute every single time.
Suddenly, waiting until the last minute to book doctor’s appointments for my kids or grandkids meant that they weren’t getting the best care possible.
Paying bills late caused no end of headaches for my husband trying to figure out our finances. And of course, I felt guilty about it – he shouldn’t have had to deal with all that stress on top of his own work and life responsibilities!
I knew it would take a lot of work to break the chains of procrastination. But I also knew that I had to do it, for my family’s sake.
Because procrastination is a thief, plain and simple.
It steals from you, your family, and your loved ones. It robs you of joy, peace of mind, and all the other wonderful things that come with being a grandmother. It takes away valuable time you could be spending with the people you care about most.
It may not seem like much in the moment, but with each unmet deadline or ball dropped, procrastination steals small pieces of your life away.
All the while, I knew that if I could only get ahead of things instead of constantly playing from behind, everything would be so much easier, and my family would be better off.
But I simply couldn’t.
And as my procrastination continued to cause my family hardship, I spiraled down into deeper and deeper depression and anxiety. Not only did I feel like a failure for causing all this, but my day-to-day mood also grew darker and darker.
I was not a pleasant person to be around.
Of course, my kids picked up on this, and they would go out of their way to interact with my husband rather than me. That, in turn, made me feel like a pathetic excuse for a parent and a human being.
As I watched my kids grow up and start their own families without me participating in their lives, cheering on their successes, and helping them up when they stumbled, my marriage was on the brink of collapse. My husband simply couldn’t do it all – especially when he had to spend his time and energy propping me up as well.
So, he gave me an ultimatum. Fix this, or else.
So when my husband sat me down and told me he was worried about me, I didn’t know what to say. He told me that he was worried about me, about how long it took for me to get things done, and how much stress it put on our family.
He knew that was the only way to get through to me.
He helped me find a therapist to try and find the cause of my procrastination and all the mental anguish that went along with it.
But that proved to be easier said than done.
While my therapist was able to help me document how my procrastination related to my depression, changing my behavior was a different story.
The first thing she tried, of course, was a regimen of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Six months of that, I felt even more disconnected from the world around me and ambivalent about life. Worse, procrastination continued to be the way I dealt with just about everything. I wanted off the drugs, but my wife and therapist were reluctant to do that without something to replace them.
Then, one morning, my eldest daughter called me over and showed me a website. It asked probing questions regarding the nature of my procrastination and how it made me feel, and she convinced me to answer them honestly.
Based on my answers, the system, guided by psychologists and wellness professionals, created a customized three-month plan that it claimed would allow me to overcome my procrastination.
My daughter and I were both skeptical – after all, nothing else had worked to that point.
But for that very reason, and the fact that they were offering a significant discount which made the program considerably cheaper than therapy, we decided to give it a go.
I’m not going to sit here and say that things changed overnight. They didn’t. Although, in the grand scheme of things, the month it took for me to start seeing results was a drop in the bucket compared to the months of stagnation and years of banging my head against the wall before that.
But the results did come, and my entire outlook on life changed.
What this program did, essentially, was rewire my daily routine so that procrastination wasn’t even something I thought of. It simply made no sense to wait to do something when I could do it right then.
That complete sea change of perspective was what broke me free of procrastination, and as I began to take a proactive approach to my life, my self-esteem began to grow as well. I no longer felt like a failure; I no longer felt like someone no one wanted to be around.
And that has made all the difference in my life as a father and professional.
Finally, I feel like I’m not constantly playing catch-up, and I hope never to feel that way again.
And to think, it all started with a simple quiz!
Click below to take the Virtue Map initial quiz, and your custom-designed plan will be ready in a matter of minutes.
After that, it’s only a matter of choosing to give it a whirl.
After all, if you’re in a situation like mine, there’s so much to gain and so little to lose by trying.
Best of luck on your journey!
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